RUN! RUN! THE COVID IS COMING! (A Satire)

(8.Dec.2020) Today is Tuesday, and it’s wet and murky out there.

However, this don’t bother us too much, as we – i.e. I and my fellow reporter – have today once more been allowed to access the great Underworld, the wonderful world of the Zombies, deep down under the former Danish Government Palace in what used to be the great City of Copenhagen. (link 1)

As in June, here in the shady World of the Zombies we have been lucky enough to get a chance to again meet the pretty and successful Zombie-Prime-Minister of what is now the Danish Zombie Underworld – her excellency Dr. Fuzziness.

However, as we reported from our last visit, all Zombies were then expected to very soon be ready to enter their final destination in Hell – supposed to be the final destination for all earthly Zombies.

The Zombie Prime-Minister of the Danish Underworld is of course exceedingly proud of being the choosen one – the choosen Captain – to be assigned with taking all the millions of Zombies – except herself and her close friends and family, of course – all the way down to their final destination in Hades.

No doubt this is why her Excellency has changed her name from the perhaps slightly banal Dr. Fuzziness to the admittantly much more dignified Dr Hades.

Also this time her long-time right hand Zombie-Commissar is not present, as he has resigned recently. That gentleman was obviously extremely clever and dynamic, albeit perhaps also on a somewhat frail footing. But we’ve already reported on this in an earlier posting (link 2).

Instead the Zombie-PM’s dear friend and relative, the Minister of Zombies and Vaccines, the right honourable Dr. Honissen, is today by her side.

We first ask her Excellency Dr. Hades:

Your Excellency – what do you and your close associate, the honourable Minister of Zombies and Vaccines, expect to be the most important milestones that have to be attained before you’ill be allowed to lead your faithful Zombies to their final destination?

“Thank You very much, I’m glad you asked that question. Obviously the supremely important task to be attended to before I can dutifully lead my beloved herd of Zombies to their final destination in Hades is that of a vaccination; or rather several vaccinations. I trust you understand how important that is?

“Because – and that really goes without saying – you cannot under any circumstances allow the Zombi-Herd to access Hell – our Hell, the Hell of our Zombire-Lord, the great Lord Hades – without everyone being securely vaccinated by trusted visionaries of Death. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Yes, of course, your Excellency. Can you elaborate a little more on the background and perhaps some of the technicalities?

“I’ill be only to glad to comply with your wish, young man.

“You see – one of my dear friends called me the other day and asked me what in the underworld is going on in Zombie-Denmark.

“Now you have to understand, that this dear Zombie-friend of mine is certainly not just any Zombie. His name is the right honourable Dr. Pill de Gat, and he’s one of the absolutely top hot-shot’s in the global Zombie-world of Big-Pharma and the Vaccine Zombie-Oligarchs.

“For instance he’s said to be the very person that firstly conceived the idea of culling the world population of Zombies by 10-15% with just one vaccination! Isn’t that wonderful? I love this man Pill de Gat so much – I feel like we’re almost family! (Link 3)

“Now this very important friend of mine of course wanted to know what the deuce is going on in Zombie-Denmark. On account there were rumours that a mutated strain of the very successful virus recently invented, the Covid-19, had turned up in and around the many mink-farms in the North of Jutland. You know, Copenhagen Fur and all that crap?

“This was of great concern to him, he explained unto me, because perhaps his newly developed Covid-19-vaccine might then perhaps not be as explicitly successful as expected. This again would conceivably entail a loss for him and his associates of billions of dollars if the vaccine did not turn out to be an instant commercial success on account of doubt of its efficacy.

“And, not least, it might then ultimately be impossible for him to cull the Earth of a billion Zombies with just one shot of his vaccine. How horrible that would be! (link 3)

“Furthermore he said he expected me to handle this dire situation quickly and firmly. Which I promised him gleefully, not least because I’ve been brought up in a family that very highly value helping friends and family. This is especially true here in Zombie-World, of course. Remember, Zombie-blood is certainly thicker than Zombie-beer!

“Did that answer your questions, young man?”

Yes, indeed, thank you very, very much your excellency, Dr. Hades. Now I would like to ask a few more questions pertaining to the horrible virus Covid-19, if you please.

For instance, when did it firstly occur to you, that this new virus was so dangerous that it would be necessary to order parliament to override the constitution with draconian clamp downs in a midnight session ? (link 4)

“Thank you, young man, I’m glad you asked that question.

“You see, as I and my friends – ‘Our Crowd’ as we are wont to say – are very much tuned in to all important developments in our time and in the future, I can – absolutely off the record of course, please do not quote me on this! – but I can reveal for you, that already in 1994 my crowd had previsioned the terrible danger soon to emanate from the dreadful Covid-19 virus.

“Perhaps you say you can’t follow me? But in that case you just have to take a quick look on this mural from the Denver Airport, painted in 1994, to understand, that everything I tell you is absolutely true. (Link 7)

“Also our associates have reportedly patented Covid-Facemasks more than two decades ago. All this of course just goes to show how visionary we are, – me and my associates. And how incredibly lucky you and your fellow Zombies are to have me and my crowd lead you to your final destination!”

Yes, but certainly, your excellency! But could you perhaps elaborate a bit on how and when you and your associates really got a clear picture of the horrible virus – if you please?

“But certainly, young man.

“You see the famous american doctor and author Dr. Rappappapopap has now betrayed us, his old friends – has abandoned ship so to speak – and is running around spreading fake and dangerous misinformation about our dreadful Covid-19 virus? (link 5)

“Imagine – this ludicrous little twat has the temerity to announce and trumpet all and everywhere, that we, i.e. me and my friends, haven’t even fully sequenced the complete genome of the horrible Covid-19 virus.

“But this is a blatant lie, and I shall tell you why! You see, the complete genome of the Covid-19 virus makes up just about 30,000 base pairs. Obviously it’s absolutely impossible to find and secure all these base pairs, all and everyone! I take it, you can easily understand that, young man – otherwise you ought to perhaps find other issues to report about than the dreadful Covid-19 flu?

“Instead our genius scientists have devised an incredibly clever tool, a trick that is almost pure magic! You see, they have calculated, that if they only have around 100 or 200 genuine covid-19 base-pairs, then they would certainly be able to create the complete genome of 30,000 base pairs.

“The only requirement for this scientific tour de force to successfully happen is access to the worlds banks of base pairs of the worlds many different corona-vira. Certainly our scientists have been and will be able to find any missing link – links that in many respects perhaps – or even probably – are look-alikes with respect to the links our scientists are missing at any given time?

“This is really incredibly clever. One cannot help become very humble faced with that kind of clever and virtuous science – veracious, conscientious, principled and truthful! I’m sure you can understand that, young man?” (link 6)

Yes, of course, yes, I understand perfectly. But allow me to ask your Minister of Zombies and Vaccinations, the honourable Dr. Honissen, a few questions, if you please?

“But of course – go right ahead”.

Thank you, thank you.

Dr. Honissen, your Excellency, how was it that you became aware of the absolute necessity of shutting down all restaurants and all that? Somewhere back in April, wasn’t it?

“Ho, ho, ho – ho, ho, hooo!”

Ahem, eh, yes of course, but could you perhaps elaborate a bit on this, your Excellency?

“Hoo, hoo, hoo – ho, ho, ho!”

Ahem, why, yes, of course, thank you very much Dr. Honissen.
Your excellency Dr. Hades, would it be possible for you to clarify Dr. Honissens answer a little bit?

“Oh, but please gentlemen, don’t be silly. We really don’t concern ourselves with ancient history; we are not reactionary politicians, we’re progressives and look forward instead of back. Please be aware you are now in the world of Zombies, we certainly have no reason to interest ourselves with ancient history, as we have only one way to go, and that is forward until the final destination down in Hell! Don’t you understand?

“And certainly the reason why we have to again shut down all restaurants and cafés as of tomorrow is only too plainly visible for everybody, for anyone to question it! Isn’t that right, young man?”

Ah, yes, ehem – but could your Excellency perhaps elaborate slightly on this subject; I mean, for the benefit of our readers?

“All right, although I really find this quite redundant – even perhaps somewhat preposterous.

“But, just very briefly, the number of flu ‘cases’ is now almost exploding in our metropolitan areas. Didn’t you know that, young man?”

Yes, of course, but some expert are propounding the view, that a ‘case’ doesn’t mean someone is sick?

“Oh, but that’s ludicrous. How dare these self-proclaimed ‘experts’ question the scientific view of myself and my friends, my experts? That’s absolutely laughable, even absurd. You have to adhere to our democratic ideals and principles and believe what I’m telling you! Everybody know that my veracity is extremely high, if not in fact infinite?”

Ehem, ah, yes, of course. But what about the parliamentarian opposition. Are they fully convinced of the necessity to shut down again; something that reportedly may almost of necessity entail the bankruptcy and liquidation of many or rather most independent restaurants and cafés? Only the millionaire- and billionaire-owned chains are expected to survive – reportedly?

“The healthiness and well-being of the people! The healthiness and well-being of the people! Need I say more, young man?”

Yes, eh, no, no, but I’ve heard rumours there’s really no scientific proof that lock-downs materially impede the spread of the flu. After all it’s high season for the general winter flu. And this year has seen no surplus deaths from all flu’s, – isn’t that so? (link 8)

“Perhaps my dear friend, his excellency Dr. Honissen would care to answer this question?”

“Hoo, ho, ho, – hoo, hoo, hoo!”

Ahem, eh, yes, of course Dr. Honissen. But have you made inquiries with the aim of procuring additional – perhaps even diverging – thoughts from well-qualified experts in Zombie-Denmark or elsewhere?

“Hoo, hoo, ho, ho – hoo, hoo, ho!

“For your convenience I don’t mind adding to the view of my Minister of Zombies – who by the way is always expressing himself very briefly and scientifically! – that we have no need for additional expertise, as we already have the very best at hand, who are always in agreement with our very wishes, hints and views. I believe that should answer your question, young man?”

Yes, yes, of course, your Excellency. Now I want to address another question, that of the position of the parliamentarian opposition. As you will know, I’ve been allowed to arranged for an interview with the four opposition leaders here in the Government Palace in about half an hour.

Have you managed to convince the opposition leaders and speakers of the necessity of the new lockdowns?

“But certainly. As it happens we’re lucky enough to have a very, very dignified leadership of the opposition right now. In particular I want to mention the leaders of the large opposition parties; they have basically always been able to at once grasp, that everything I say is the pure truth, that my veracity is almost infinite and that everything I order is certainly legal or at least absolutely necessary.”

Yes, of course, but what about the Constitution, the Grundlov. For instance there have been rumours that the bans on meetings and congregation are very clearly illegal and unconstitutional, as unequivocally being in disagreement with §79 of the Grundlov. (link 1)

“But really, young man – I think your questions are getting rather farfetched. I only want to add, that if this had been the case, then our Supreme Courts of Law would certainly have intervened!

“And I don’t mind adding, that this very old Grundlow can basically have no bearing on our modern times! It almost goes without saying; you just have to look at what happened in the parliamentarian midnight session on March 12. this year.

“In this memorable, even history-making session the opposition unanimously agreed to disregard the Constitution – our Grundlov – in several respects. And in particular, of course, I was vested with absolute powers to ban any – ANY – meeting or congregation. This power I still have, of course.

“In fact one has to wonder, why this §79 in our Grundlov – about freedom of congregation – was put there in the first place? I don’t think the old fuzzes of yore was thinking very much at all! And certainly they couldn’t have been in the slightest aware of the harm they might do to anyone wanting to rule our country with firmness and responsibility vis-a-vis our foreign or global masters. Hence we have no choice other than to disregard the Grundlow completely. That is – except that we, the Government, of course need to have our constitutionally guaranteed compensations and pensions and new cars and all!

“Likewise I’m still vested with absolute powers to force-vaccinate anyone in accordance with my personal discretion – at least until March 1st 2021. In short I think Zombie-Denmark right now has a wonderful Zombie-opposition in parliament! Which is fortunate as I otherwise might have to order Parliament shut down completely once more.”

Thank you very much, Dr. Hades, for your elucidating expositions. I would like to wind up this valuable interview by asking your Zombie-Minister Dr. Honissen if he has anything he want to add to your elucidations?

“Hoo, Hoo, ho, ho – ho, ho, hoo, hoo!”

Yes, of course, Dr. Honissen. Thank you very much.

But I now see that the four opposition leaders have gathered in the conference area a bit further down the corridor.

Thank you very, very much, your excellencies, for this informative interview!

For the benefit of the readers we – I and my fellow reporter – want to advise, that the four opposition leaders in the Copenhagen Zombie-Parliament have kindly agreed to answer a few questions about their efforts in the present, urgent Covid-emergency.

The four party leaders are: The honourable Dr. Nullerman from Opposition-Party One; the honourable Dr. Pip-Squeak from Party Two; the honourable, up-and-coming Dr. Snitcher-Macht from Party Three; and the honourable and pretty Dr. Pin-Ups from Party Four.

Dr. Pin-Ups is not yet present, but has promised to join us shortly. We firstly ask Dr. Nullerman about his view on the Covid emergency.

Dr. Nullerman – I believe your party has traditionally been representing the many small and medium-sized, independent businesses. How come you have resolved to flatly accede to the new Government lock-downs in the Metropolitan areas; lock-downs that certainly will be hitting the small businesses particularly hard?

“But, certainly, young man. Firstly you must be aware that there is a Covid-emergency going on. The Covid is a dangerous winter-flu, that is hitting our sick and weak fellow citizens particularly hard; some have already died! Hence we have to act with resolve and responsibility! To that end I have asked her excellency the Zombie-Prime-Minister, the honourable Dr. Hades, what ought to be done. And the PM has gracefully informed me, that – as there are almost no more mink to kill – she has to shut down all small and medium-sized businesses! Solely to impede the spread of the winter-flu, of course. Am I clear?”

Yes, certainly, thank you very much dr. Nullermann. I would now like to ask dr. Pip-Squeak about his view on the repercussions on the large businesses, that his party historically has been supposed to represent.

“Thank you for asking me that question, young man. You see, I and my party has nothing to hide as we have only the interests of our voters in mind. This and only this is why we have unconditionally acquiesced to the scientific proposals of our Government.

“It’s of supreme importance, in our view, to act responsible vis-a-vis the many weak and sickly fellow citizens. This is why I’ve taken the time and trouble to personally ask her excellency, the Zombie-Prime-Minister about her opinion on what ought to be done.

“The PM has promptly and gracefully informed me, what must be done. Of course I’m very happy about this kindness, and have – after mature consideration, I dare say – felt I have no other choice but to accept her wise suggestion.

“I don’t mind telling you by way of background, that the PM personally assured me, that she had consulted certain experts in the ministry of dr. Honissen, and that they all agreed to her wishes. This is extremely comforting, of course. Certainly we in my party don’t take lightly on the Covid-emergency!”

Thank you, Dr. Pip-Squeak. I would now like to ask the leader of party no. Three, the honourable dr. Snitcher-Macht about the view of his party on the Covid-lock-downs?

“I have nothing to add to the wise replies of my honourable fellow party-leaders. Except I always felt that my dear friend, her excellency the Zombie-Prime-Minister has had – and certainly still has – a fresh touch upon the antiquated routines here in the government Palace. High marks to the PM for her wise and resolute leadership. I love her so much. I can hardly wait to come to work much more closely with her, when I soon will take over the leadership of our entire party.”

Thank you, dr. Snitcher-Macht. But what about the Covid-emergency and the lock-downs? Your party is likewise often supposed to be concerned about the small independent businesses?

“But certainly. And that’s why I have personally asked the PM about what stand to most conveniently take in this Covid-predicament. The PM has then kindly advised me not to worry, as she has asked certain experts that she has access to and can trust. I feel this is very comforting and it is of course hardly possible to do more research on your own. You have to trust all the experts of our government! After all they now have all been informed about their responsibilities vis-a-vis the Zombie-Prime-Minister and certainly no one is indispensable!”

Thank you, again, dr. Snitcher-Macht. But I can now see the honourable Dr. Pin-Ups down the corridor. But she seems to be calling out loud, and also running. I wonder what’s going on?

(Dr. Pin-Ups): “RUN, RUN, THE COVID IS COMING!”

(Dr. Nullerman): “What is this, please, have you seen the Covid?”

(Dr. Pip-Squeak): “Hurry, tell us, what have you seen? Tell us please, but hurry!”

(Dr. Snitcher-Macht): “RUN, RUN, SHE HAS SEEN THE COVID!”

(Dr. Pin-Ups): “RUN, RUN, I HAVE SEEN THE COVID. HE WAS HIDING DOWN IN THE FAR CONER OF THE CORRIDOR. I THINK IT WAS A HE, BUT IT MAY HAVE BEEN A SHE. I REALLY ONLY SAW THE SHADOW. IT WAS HIDEOUSLY, HORRIBLY DREADFUL!”

(Dr. Nullerman): “RUN, RUN, THE COVID IS COMING. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! RUN, RUN!”

(Dr. Pip-Squeak): “THIS IS DREADFUL! RUN, RUN, THE COVID IS COMING. SAVE YOURSELVES!

(Dr. Snitcher-Macht): “RUN, RUN, RUN! THE COVID IS HERE! RUN, RUN, RUN, – THIS IS NO TIME TO FEIGN HEROISM! RUN, RUN, RUN! THE COVID IS COMING!”

(End of Satire)

(8./12.Dec.2020)

Links:

Link 1.

Constitution Day (Satire)

Link 2.

OKTOBER MARCH

Link 3.
Bill Gates has his FINAL SOLUTION
Bill Gates’ Plan to Vaccinate the World

Leaked Pentagon Video 2005 – Vaccines to control people?

Link 4.

The Samson Option?

Link 5.

THE STRANGLERS

Link 6.

The Virus That Isn’t There, Genetic Sequencing, and the Magic Trick

Link 7.

The Clueless

Link 8.
Lockdowns Do Not Slow COVID Spread, Three Studies Show
By Jon Miltimore
https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/lockdowns-do-not-slow-covid-spread–three-studies-show/

The collateral damage of lockdowns, which has been well documented, includes widespread poverty, depression, bankruptcy, and unemployment.
Several studies show there is little correlation between government restrictions and lower COVID mortality rates. Here are three of them.

The Lancet, July:
“…government actions such as border closures, full lockdowns, and a high rate of COVID-19 testing were not associated with statistically significant reductions in the number of critical cases or overall mortality,” the study concluded.
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(20)30208-X/fulltext

Similarly, a study published by Frontiers in Public Health several months after The Lancet paper found neither lockdowns nor lockdown stringency were correlated with lower death rates.
“Stringency of the measures settled to fight pandemia, including lockdown, did not appear to be linked with death rate,” the researchers concluded.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpubh.2020.604339/full#SM6

Research from Tel Aviv University published in October on the website medRxiv said that strict lockdowns may not save lives. Researchers analyzed mobility data collected from iPhones and found no statistical association between lockdown severity and the number of COVID-19 fatalities.
https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/lockdowns-do-not-slow-covid-spread–three-studies-show/

“We would have expected to see fewer Covid-19 fatalities in countries with a tighter lockdown, but the data reveals that this is not the case,” the researchers explained.
https://www.israel21c.org/distancing-not-lockdowns-prevents-covid-19-deaths-says-study/